Back like I left
It’s no secret that I “Japa’d” — I took the opportunity to spend time abroad, detox, and experience life in a developed country. However, one thing becomes clear, whether quickly or slowly: there’s no place like home. I wrote briefly about my experiences here — We All Bleed Blood.
I’m not here to debate whether it’s better to leave Nigeria for school or work, or to persuade anyone to stay or go. This is simply about my personal experience. One thing I learned from my travels is that traveling broadens your mind and prevents limited thinking. I wish more Nigerians had the opportunity to travel to other countries, whether within Africa or to other continents. Then they would realise that the problem isn’t our currency — it’s us.
Nigerians often have a “you love it so much, you have to let it go” relationship with their country. I experienced firsthand what it’s like to Japa, and it’s not … as sweet as it might seem. I was fortunate to have a job that required my presence on-site, providing me with enough income to survive (it’s way worse for students, no thanks to FX rates). The most challenging part of Japa is starting a new life: making new friends, getting used to new food, new traditions, new laws, finding a job. These might seem like normal survival routine, but no one fully talks about the loneliness that comes with doing all of these, most times at once.
You must keep yourself alive by communicating with people, visiting new places, and socialising, all of which cost money. Abroad money is sweet if you are not paying abroad bills. People talk about how much they make in developed countries, wait till you hear how much rent is or food not to mention TAX. As an only child and a natural loner, I was used to being on my own, with few friends, and the comfort of my parents nearby. While away, I had no control over that. Socialising becomes an obligation, and it can really mess with your mental state. This is something that’s hard to explain — only those far from home truly understand.
True Friends
Want to know your true friends, leave the country. People who have aired you for years, will text just to “check up on you”, lmao. You will also see the true reality of those in the abroad that “flex” on other people at home. Nothing will amaze you again, I promise. Also it might change you, you might see people who have zero intentions of exploiting you as leeches, your emotional guard will be up 24/7. I am not a saint either, I ghosted some (good) people, ended some relationships, and let time take its toll on others. Some days, I was exhausted from always being the one to reach out. Your new life abroad may leave you with little time for old friends, as establishing yourself in a new place is a monumental task but time is limited. The smaller your friendship circle, the tighter it can hold against distance and time difference.
The Sun is Our Body’s Solar Power
I never knew the sun could be a source of joy! You might think the sun in Nigeria is overwhelming, but wait until you go weeks without seeing sunlight — your melanin-rich skin will definitely feel it. I always thought weather-related depression was a problem specific to the Western world, but I was shocked when I almost experienced it. When the weather is freezing cold, going out isn’t enjoyable. You have to wear heavy winter jackets or fleece and focus on keeping warm. If you don’t smoke, be prepared to drink plenty of hot water. One of my Ghanaian friends told me one of the ways to mitigate the seasonal depression is Vitamin D supplements. According to her, melanated skin require sunlight (Vitamin D) to produce melanin, and a deficiency in this can affect our mood, leading to feelings of gloominess and depression.
My 2 cents
If you want to leave, do leave, but do it at your own pace and not under pressure. There are actually a lot of opportunities out there, short term, long term, paid or unpaid positions that can sponsor your travel.
For me, I’m back home, learning a new UN language and working remotely. I plan to document my journey from start to finish, maybe even vlog a bit. Another minute I might be away, taking on new adventures. Time will tell.
