Love is to be cultivated
At this stage in my life, while I am highly motivated to be successful and achieve career growth, I have to start giving a bombastic side eye to my romantic life. In today’s world, it’s not enough to be loveable; can you sustain the love? As social beings, we are inherently designed for companionship, and the essence of love is too essential for survival to leave unattended to for a long period.
I’m in my early twenties, a phase that’s rapidly approaching the point where it can no longer be deemed “early”. The dating scene in this era is quite unfair for young men like me trying to find their place in it. Just as how excess money was pumped into afrobeats and made it unaffordable to its local market, excess money has been pumped into the Nigerian dating scene, it’s now an extreme sport. The question “what do you bring to the table?” is not a joke, but a serious bargaining ground. Make your offer, I make mine, if we meet at the same page then it’s a deal, a scenario closely linked to what D’Prince mentioned in his 2012 song “Goody Bag” — what’s your selling point?.
I’ve just realized that at my age, anything that involves romantic gestures or leaving the corridors of my home because of a love interest comes at a cost, whether it ends up successful or not. Being someone who’s frugal, I hate billings. Gone are the days when a simple walk in the neighbourhood could make a girl’s heart flutter or a basic birthday card or scented flower was sufficient (thanks to those extravagant money bouquet displays). Nowadays, proper dates are the norm, complete with the need for lavish dining experiences. But I can’t help but wonder, is it truly a worthwhile investment? After putting both money and time into nurturing a relationship, does it genuinely blossom into something meaningful?
Some people hold the notion that there comes a time in a relationship when “money ceases to matter”, I believe money ceases to matter once it has catered for all the things that matter. So, one of the things I plan to do is to incorporate a “Love Interest” category into my monthly budget, setting aside funds for gifts, outings, and any expenses related to nurturing my romantic life. I intend to cherish each moment as an experience in itself and not solely as a means to express affection to the other person. Whatever costs me, I should find enjoyment or value in it. That way, even if it doesn’t work out, I can at least say I was entertained. Cultivating love in this era may come at a price, but it’s a price worth paying for the potential reward of a meaningful connection.
Enjoyed this exposition, clap for me! Let me also know what you think in the comments, I will be reading and replying all of it. Read this next -> COCKBLOCKS and WASTED TIMES
This exposition is part of my latest Extended Reads(ER) titled “Torn Drafts” — check the other 3 stories here
